understand what I've become
it wasn't my design
and people everywhere think
something better than I am
but i miss you. I miss
'cause I liked it, I liked it
when I was out there
do you know this? do you know?
you didn't find me, you did not find
does anyone care?
(The Cranberries - Ode to My Family)
grew from a family which has its own (read: personal )busy things made me become a strong and independent girl. Yeah I'm twenty so that I'm a girl not yet a women. Many things that I really want from a family. Let me begin this story...
This is my story...
My name is Dina and I have a beautiful sibling name Wika. When we were kids, honestly, we loved to fight. The fight was start from a small things to things that are unexpected. Now I think that was our silly things because we were still children. We live with our beloved parents. We often did holiday together. We often watched tv together. We often made happy things together. I am the youngest girl in family. I always hugged and kissed with love by them. I feel protected. I feel so warm.
Was gathered with my family in fact is not as long as I had imagined. I thought we were still being together. I thought we could always do holiday together. I thought when I came home from school, I will met them. It wasn't easy as me (or you) think. My father suddenly should moved to other city. Therefor I should separate with him. It wasn't easy. A years later my mother was also moved with my father. It was a hard decision for sure. Firstly, I was glad to feel free was not monitored by my parents. But it only just happened for a moment. My sister also had to move due to resume her college. I feel lonely. I feel so cold. Warmth that I feel has been lost. I lived my own days with my own self. I went alone to school. Drive a ride with no one care of me. I should find kindda food by my own self. I managed my personal finances and also household's by own self. I went to Carrefour alone to buy household needs that have been discharged. My age when it was only sixteen years old.
It lasted until I finally decided to pursue continue studies in Bandung. I live alone too in here, Bandung. Even I have a bestie, It doesn't mean I live count on him. No! I do almost anything by myself. Sometimes, people envy with me. They think I can count on him. They think my life is easier than them. In fact, they don't know my background life. I like bear the burden and no one knows. This is my first time I devote my family life on this blog. This happen because I miss my family. Even sometimes I envy to those who still can easily meet their family. My father and mother busy to work. They are workaholic. So did my sis witn her own business. I miss hugged and kissed by my family.
Ode to My Family's song representated my heart now. I should understand their own business. Does anyone care of me? I don't wanna give a damn. I love them. I hope my mother always hold me here even she miles away. So did my father. And for my sister, I hope she has always been a benchmark for my self. I am young and I still need them.
Lucky to be you if you can be easily meet your family even just call on them. But, I love my life and I will prove my promise to make my family proud of me.